The Sailor Experience: R U Experienced?
by ShakiraShakira
Summary: A story based in the Sailor Moon universe with a healthy amount of characters from other series. Most appropriately described as an exploration of the human conscious relying almost completely on symbolism and metaphors.


The Sailor Experience : R U experienced

Chapter 1, Franklin the Turtle

Franklin the turtle woke up from his deep sleep. He rubbed his eyes with content and lust. He then proceeded to take off his pants. Next, he gulped down his cold coffee and ether. He passed out.

So, Franklin the turtle woke up from a deep sleep. He rubbed his eyes with content and lust. He then proceeded to take off his pants. The doorbell rang. This made Franklin both content and lustful. However Franklin did not have a doorbell nor did he have a heart. Also, his liver was non-existent due to the heavy amount of chaos and angst associated with Franklin inability to cope with the pain and anguish of his every day life.

But, Franklin didn't have any choice. He had to "keep on keeping on" as his mother would constantly remind him. His recreational ether addiction was expensive, however content and lustful it made him. Franklin descended from his lofty mattresses careful not to disturb the empties, who were still sleeping. He cursed the pea that constantly tormented him and prevented him from getting any sleep.

Chapter 2, Dances with Thundercats 

Twilight was gathering, and Franklin still wasn't here. Cheetara the Thundercat's heart beat faster, as it always did when the day left her alone with The Darkness. "I believe in a thing called love, Just listen to the rhythm of my heart, There's a chance we could make it now, We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down, I believe in a thing called love, Ooh!" _Curse that Justin Hawkins!_

As Franklin entered the club, stage right, He busted a move. Unfortunately, he was a turtle.

Cheetara the Thundercat beckoned him, "I beseech you to speak with me."

"Good afternoon, comrade Cheetara the Thundercat." Said Franklin. The sight of her filled him with contentment and lust.

"I've worked out the operation Franklin.'

"Good. We're taking it to the streets."

Chapter 3, The Israeli Job.

The Job had gone bad. Franklin and Cheetara the Thundercat had been in the petty theft business for years, but nothing could have prepared them for this. Franklin hobbled down the dark alley, leaving a dark trail of blood. Who would have thought that the _SILVER IMPERIUM CRYSTAL _would have been so well protected. Franklin didn't even know what happened to Cheetara the Thundercat. It was all over so fast. Interpol was not to be joked around with.

Suddenly, a figure emerged from the murky depths. With a gasp, Franklin smelled his nemesis and French counterpart Benjamin.

"You! I thought you slumming around Canadian television after I kicked your ass in street croquet." Franklin said to his nemesis, who was instantly recognizable due to the eerie way his shadow followed him around everywhere, like Tuxedo Mask and his whore.

They faced each other, put on their aviator sunglasses and withdrew their weapons of choice. Franklin, a double barreled harpoon gun revolver, pump action of course. Benjamin withdrew a stale loaf curry bread, courtesy of Haruko.

Witnessing this duel was Justin Hawkins. He served as a judge/rule-teller.

Anyhoo long story short Franklin dies almost immediately due to a freak lightning strike combined with mudslide and flash flooding, an overall bad combination. Benjamin went into hiding and was never seen again.

ShakiraShakira broke the fourth wall in an incredible display of apology. That chapter sucked.

Chapter 4, Vocal Contradiction

Cheetara the Thundercat was back in the club. She was munching on club sauce. Then, her sixth-sense kicked in and she sensed imminent conflict. She was already in a bad mood. She had been receiving transmissions from Planet Feline all day, and that always put her in a pissy mood.

Before she knew it, an unfamiliar face appeared on the dance floor and called her out. Cheetara the Thundercat went to accept the challenge, but found that she was incapable of speech.

"What's that? Cat got your tongue?" The unfamiliar face had a shockingly familiar voice.

_Oh NO!_ thought Cheetara the Thundercat, _It's Lynne Lipton, my voice actor!_

Lynne Lipton stared Cheetara the Thundercat down. The killing intent in her eyes was enough to root Cheetara the Thundercat to the ground. Then, it was simply a matter of Lynne Lipton's Lamppost goring Cheetara the Thundercat up into a bloody mess of a Thundercat.

Chapter 5, Date with Ms. Destiny

She smiled. It was a job well done. The chief of police always had this curious sensation of contentment and lust when her Interpol division "broke it down real smooth on the med-a-side." She smiled again and looked down at her shiny badge. _Sailor Uranus_ was engraved on the shiny material.

Then, Sailor Uranus remembered she had a birthday party to go to. Oh Yeah! It was gonna be a costume party. Reel smooth like dem cracker med-a-side. She took off her pants.

Later at the party, Sailor Uranus was picking up some major good vibes from that Dora the Explora. It started when their glances met from across the room. Soon, they were all over each other. Lets just say it was hot. Real hot. Like a bug zapper on a Tuesday morning. **Real. Kinky. Shit**. Ooooooh _barracuda_.

Chapter 6, Contentment and Lust in Hyrule

They took a cruise to the far reaches of the solar system, but to their surprise, they found that they could enjoy themselves best in their hometown of Hyrule Kingdom. So it was there that Cheetara the Thundercat was conceived.

IT'S A PSYCHOBILLIY TIME LAPSE!

The world of motorcycle racing would never be the same. (guitar solo). It was groovy because we will never know. The epilogue will come after this chapter. So bear with us.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS! IT'S SOME KINDA TEXAS PSYCHOBILLY TIMELAPSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS!

Epilogue

Sixteen years later:

Due to rising welfare dilemmas everybody died, but…not before….EVERYONE BECAME HOOKERS!!!

Yeah!

They took it to the streets!


End file.
